The cover letter may very well be the most difficult aspect of the job search for people to grasp. How do I know this? The sheer number of terrible cover letters that I have read through proves it. Don’t believe me here are a list of terrible cover letter mistakes:

- Strong writing abilities. Able to analysis data and problem solve.
- I am seeking a new position as i have recently been laid.

Letter writing is a dying art. Emails, texts, IMs (do people still write those?) tweets and other forms of super-casual writing are quickly displacing the poor, humble sheet of paper. Of course, in its death throes the formal correspondence can still kick us in the nuts. We’re so unaccustomed to writing anything formal that what began as a simple formality has become the hardest part of the job application process. Tortured prose, mangled syntax, atrocious spelling and the poor butchered bodies of thesauri (cut down in their prime for the ivory of vocabulary) litter the landscape of the HR field. Not a day goes by but we wince and turn our heads from the abuse suffered by our poor, defenseless language.

Fortunately, this means that the simple act of sending a grammatically correct, comprehensible cover letter can be enough to secure a careful reading of your resume. In fact the ability to clearly express yourself on paper can even get you an interview some places. Yes, it’s that rare. So forget about trying to impress us and just speak clearly in an authentic voice, and PROOFREAD.

Of course, anyone who’s watched TV knows that when someone who isn’t you gets kicked in the nuts it’s pretty funny. With an eye toward that we’re pleased (and pained) to present: 10 Things That Never Should Have Been Sent

1) I am seeking a position as I have recently been laid.” Congratulations.
2) Strong writing abilities. Able to analysis data.” They’re strong, I just don’t have them.
3) I’m looking for work because even though my company was profitable last year, this year they are expecting a large defecate.” I take it you’re not in the fertilizer business.
4) Does your printed material scream “LOOK OVER HEAR”?” Thankfully, no it doesn’t.
5) I will be able to input your agency with a wide and nouveau perspective in the creative field.” Another thesaurus bellows in pain and confusion.
6) Interpretation of this cultural coed is what drive our business… “ And here I thought that cultural coeds were just the upside of taking Art Appreciation.
7) with due respect i beg to state that i have dream in my eyes to decorate this world with my creativity” Perhaps a mild saline solution would help with that?
8) I am nown for my close attention to detail.” And hatred of the letter ‘K’.
9) My salary requirement is $34 per year.” I think we can find that in the budget.
10) I also have a degree English which serves me well in editing text for poor grammer or typos.” Just not the fixing of them.